The Race I Didn’t Finish

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes” – Oscar Wilde

It’s been eight months since the NY Road Runners marathon tune up race in Central Park. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember it. I’m reminded every day I run w/ the blue shirt, which has a tear in it from me ripping the race number off. The reminders in medical bills from the trip to the hospital (which could have been much worse w/o the great insurance Boeing provides me). I’m reminded every time I look at the medal from the NYC Marathon that hangs in my room, because I know it almost didn’t happen.

On the morning of Sunday September 28, 2008 I woke up after a night of barely sleeping. It was noisier than usual for the city that night. I was convinced every cab stopped in front of my friend’s building and laid on their horn for at least 5 minutes. I thought for a moment, what if I skipped the race. No, I told myself. I needed to run 18 miles today otherwise I wouldn’t reach my goal for the marathon (just over a month away). I skipped a good breakfast because I didn’t check if the milk was fresh the night before.

After the race I was going to head to Shea Stadium for the last game there. I was so focused on that game I didn’t scout the race course. Central Park has more hills than most realize. Three laps around those hills are painful. Add to that an unusually humid day in late September and you can see this was no going to be some walk in the park.

My goal was 9:30 miles. However, before the first lap was done I knew that was out the reach. By mile seven I was feeling the hills and the humidity. I was drinking too much water and Gatorade. Each mile that went by I couldn’t see how I was going to get to run 18 miles. At mile 10 I was walking more and as I finished my second lap, I started thinking about where I would stop. It was there just beyond the 13 mile marker I made my way to the ambulance.

I wrote about this story because I struggle with the thought of people who estimated they spend 20% of their time following up on people who do not do what they said. I’ve recently encountered this at work and in my personal life more so than usual. I wonder why they are not following through. I wonder if it could be that maybe a piece is missing and they don’t want to return the call or email until it’s all done. Maybe they are waiting on a return call or maybe they didn’t understand the request and they’re afraid to ask.

On a day when I failed to finish the race I was able to still do so much. I ran 13.1 miles (a half marathon) which is never easy. I learned about being better prepared and that sometimes you need to deviate from the plan. I was reminded how much my family cared about me, even if they yelled at me before I went to the hospital. My two points, if not obvious, in failure focus on all you’ve learned. If you don’t meet your goal or others expectations, realize why. Tell them the progress you’ve made. Don’t be afraid to tell them you’re busy and need to renegotiate the deadline. In a world where we judge others by actions and ourselves by our intentions, remember something sounds better than hearing nothing. You’ll find that those who really want to see you succeed are those who are with you when times are tough.