I was in a team offsite about a year ago where we took part in an activity working with the different personalities of the team. We were asked to identify the probability of us attending an event if we told the organizer one of the listed replies. Options ranged from definitely, sounds fun, maybe, not sure, to can’t make it. The percentages varied for the team across the options. I found it interesting that I was the only one who said that definitely meant 100% chance I would attend. Some doubted me and I shared that when I say I’m going to be somewhere I show. If I have any doubt, then I state it up front. I believe in full transparency.
I’ve been planning events since college. I did a lot as an RA, but even more since moving to LA. My adventure group has hosted over 1,500 in five years. We’ve actually got our system set up that when someone signs up for a trip we see what other trips they’ve attended and what they’ve canceled on. Now to be honest, I have “flaked” three times on weekend trips since my arrival in LA over eight years ago. All turned out to be disasters (for lack of a better description), but that is a relatively low number given how many trips and events I attend.
In the first third of this year I’ve attended numerous events (Happy hours, conferences, etc) and watched an event organizer scramble at the last minute as the number of flakes increases. I’ve seen thousands of dollars wasted in event budget, some by the no-show attendee, some by the hosting organization. I don’t what annoys me more, those who have terrible excuses for bailing out, those who don’t evaluate the commitment they’re making or those who wait to the last minute to finalize they won’t attend.
Where am I going with this? I guess I’m curious if we are failing to set good expectations as a society. I know we are far more advanced in terms of tools to keep us organized, so saying we forgot is a terrible reason to no show. We have events on Evite that allow us to add to our calendar and we have Google that syncs with our iPhone calendars. But maybe there is just too much information coming across and our bandwith isn’t wide enough. Maybe we’re just not organized and don’t know what we’re committing to when we RSVP.
This is also beyond RSVP’ing for events. This extends to calling people back, following through on promises. I am amazed by the stat that employees say they spend 20% of their time following up on people who do not do what they said. Regardless of your reasons, remember that the only sustainable competitive advantage you have is your reputation.
Do you flake? If people flake on you, do you hold them accountable? If so, how?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
New Year Resolutions Are Worthless
If you haven’t been watching the calendar, the first quarter of 2009 has come and gone. It was way back in January that we heard those famous words “New Year Resolution” that make me cringe. If you have made some that’s great, but where are they now? When was the last time in December you said “let me pull up my new year resolutions from last year and see how I did?”
The reason you are still trying to answer that last question is because resolutions are these things that you come up with because you feel you have a new year to start fresh. However, the fact remains that counting down to midnight on night of the year does not transform you from the person you were the year before. Additionally, goals should not be tied to the calendar year. You can come up with new goals at any time. This week you are going to set goals for yourself. Please beware; I may have a different definition of goals than you do. For me goals are 1) written down, 2) come with action plans, and 3) are reviewed often.
To get you on your way, I challenge each of you to take out a blank piece of paper, write down what you would like to accomplish this year and I’d also like you to consider three things you would like to stop doing this year (i.e. interrupting people). The goals can be as grand or as small as you choose, but remember “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” I’d ask you to consider setting goals that are slightly beyond your reach and will push you to grow and be challenged more so than you are used to. I have 12 this year in addition to my personal development plan.
As a guideline your goals should follow the S.M.A.R.T. outline.
Specific: Do you know exactly what you want to accomplish with all the details? (For my goal, I’m not Al Gore, I’m just trying to show people simple ways to help the environment).
Measurable: Are you able to assess your progress? (This is where an action plan and baby steps to a big goal are very helpful).
Attainable: Is your goal within your reach given your current situation? (In college I had a goal to improve my GPA, how much I wanted to improve it was less attainable than solving world hunger)
Relevant: Is your goal relevant towards your purpose in life? (This is where you may realize your current job does not fit your passions, be prepared)
Time-Sensitive: What is the deadline for completing your goal? (Don’t get fixated on taking the entire year to accomplish something, I already accomplished one of my goals – ski 20 days).
For each goal identify the action steps you will need to take to achieving them. Saying you are going to “get fit” and not writing down how you plan to get fit is not an effective way of writing a goal. What good is driving to a destination without directions? Write down your directions to getting to your goal. Finally, put reminders on your calendar to review your goals. I do this every Friday morning (and you thought I was just sleeping in when I didn’t answer your phone call). You may also want to write them on an index card and put them in your wallet or purse. You could type them out and laminate them. Don’t let them go out of site or out of mind until December.
Just like driving, don’t be discouraged if you need to make a few extra turns or even a u-turn. Go get them! If you need help, let me know.
The reason you are still trying to answer that last question is because resolutions are these things that you come up with because you feel you have a new year to start fresh. However, the fact remains that counting down to midnight on night of the year does not transform you from the person you were the year before. Additionally, goals should not be tied to the calendar year. You can come up with new goals at any time. This week you are going to set goals for yourself. Please beware; I may have a different definition of goals than you do. For me goals are 1) written down, 2) come with action plans, and 3) are reviewed often.
To get you on your way, I challenge each of you to take out a blank piece of paper, write down what you would like to accomplish this year and I’d also like you to consider three things you would like to stop doing this year (i.e. interrupting people). The goals can be as grand or as small as you choose, but remember “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” I’d ask you to consider setting goals that are slightly beyond your reach and will push you to grow and be challenged more so than you are used to. I have 12 this year in addition to my personal development plan.
As a guideline your goals should follow the S.M.A.R.T. outline.
Specific: Do you know exactly what you want to accomplish with all the details? (For my goal, I’m not Al Gore, I’m just trying to show people simple ways to help the environment).
Measurable: Are you able to assess your progress? (This is where an action plan and baby steps to a big goal are very helpful).
Attainable: Is your goal within your reach given your current situation? (In college I had a goal to improve my GPA, how much I wanted to improve it was less attainable than solving world hunger)
Relevant: Is your goal relevant towards your purpose in life? (This is where you may realize your current job does not fit your passions, be prepared)
Time-Sensitive: What is the deadline for completing your goal? (Don’t get fixated on taking the entire year to accomplish something, I already accomplished one of my goals – ski 20 days).
For each goal identify the action steps you will need to take to achieving them. Saying you are going to “get fit” and not writing down how you plan to get fit is not an effective way of writing a goal. What good is driving to a destination without directions? Write down your directions to getting to your goal. Finally, put reminders on your calendar to review your goals. I do this every Friday morning (and you thought I was just sleeping in when I didn’t answer your phone call). You may also want to write them on an index card and put them in your wallet or purse. You could type them out and laminate them. Don’t let them go out of site or out of mind until December.
Just like driving, don’t be discouraged if you need to make a few extra turns or even a u-turn. Go get them! If you need help, let me know.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
10 Lessons I’ve Learned @ 30 (Part 2 of 2)
As a continuation from Part 1, here are the five other things I've learned in life.
5. Work to be happy not to survive.
If you know me, then you know I LOVE WHAT I DO! I jump out of bed to start working and I’ve even learned to say no to work on weekends. It’s not easy to find a job you love, but I promise it’s worth the search and every bit of the effort to get to it. I know many of us work to pay the bills, but I promise you its magical when you can find yourself in a role that optimizes both your passions and your strengths.
4. Goals – Have them. Write them down. Make a plan to achieve them.
I live on this foundation. “Harvard Study Goals” –Google it! It’s not about the money (read the previous lesson again), it’s about happiness. Goals and action plans help you achieve it, regardless of how you define it.
3. Failure is human. Just don’t quit.
I have to admit I probably screw up once a week. Once a quarter really bad and once a year I mess up in a way that even I can’t believe. We’re human. I’ve learned two things from all my failures. First, when I screw up I admit it and I don’t hide it. Remember that lesson on empathy? People naturally want to empathize with you on failure. Why? Because they’ve probably screwed up once or twice themselves. The second point is that you need learn from your failures and do better. Japanese Proverb says “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
2. Be grateful and say thank you.
As most of you know, in the past six years I’ve lost both of my parents. My father’s death was unexpected and my mother’s more sudden than unexpected. They did more for me than I could comprehend while they were both alive. I started to realize this after my father passed. He was pulled out of school in second grade to work and earn money for his family. He came to the US at 18 to make money and help the rest of his family get here from Italy. I appreciated this all too late. In the summer of 07 when I got word that my mother’s passing was inevitable; I booked a ticket and was on the next flight to NY. It happened to be the last flight that would get me to NY that same day and it ended up getting canceled. I got myself on a flight eight hours later out of another airport that would get me in the next morning. I’ve often struggled sharing my feeling, but I knew on this occasion what to say without hesitation. I told my mother I loved her and I thanked her for all she did for me. She died an hour later. I heard later on that the doctors said she wouldn’t make it through the night. Today is all you are guaranteed. You’ve got to where you are in life because others helped you get here. Thank them!
1. Believe in yourself and in others
I’ve had my share of ups and downs. I’ve found that to succeed you need to first believe in yourself. You need to understand your motivations. When I was little my parents said I could have anything I wanted as long as I tried my best. I just wish someone stopped me before I believed them. I’ve leveraged the faith I have in myself to achieve my wildest dreams from working at Boeing, to getting on a C-17 test flight, to climbing the highest peak in the lower 48 states, to winning the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. And as many of you know from reading this blog, I’ve experienced finishing the NYC marathon.
However, it’s not just about me. I believe that everyone is inherently a good person. Yes, everyone. I believe it’s pressure and difficult times that cause some to make decisions that make us doubt our faith in them. Have faith in others and I promise you it will offer more in return than all of the previous nine lessons I listed.
5. Work to be happy not to survive.
If you know me, then you know I LOVE WHAT I DO! I jump out of bed to start working and I’ve even learned to say no to work on weekends. It’s not easy to find a job you love, but I promise it’s worth the search and every bit of the effort to get to it. I know many of us work to pay the bills, but I promise you its magical when you can find yourself in a role that optimizes both your passions and your strengths.
4. Goals – Have them. Write them down. Make a plan to achieve them.
I live on this foundation. “Harvard Study Goals” –Google it! It’s not about the money (read the previous lesson again), it’s about happiness. Goals and action plans help you achieve it, regardless of how you define it.
3. Failure is human. Just don’t quit.
I have to admit I probably screw up once a week. Once a quarter really bad and once a year I mess up in a way that even I can’t believe. We’re human. I’ve learned two things from all my failures. First, when I screw up I admit it and I don’t hide it. Remember that lesson on empathy? People naturally want to empathize with you on failure. Why? Because they’ve probably screwed up once or twice themselves. The second point is that you need learn from your failures and do better. Japanese Proverb says “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”
2. Be grateful and say thank you.
As most of you know, in the past six years I’ve lost both of my parents. My father’s death was unexpected and my mother’s more sudden than unexpected. They did more for me than I could comprehend while they were both alive. I started to realize this after my father passed. He was pulled out of school in second grade to work and earn money for his family. He came to the US at 18 to make money and help the rest of his family get here from Italy. I appreciated this all too late. In the summer of 07 when I got word that my mother’s passing was inevitable; I booked a ticket and was on the next flight to NY. It happened to be the last flight that would get me to NY that same day and it ended up getting canceled. I got myself on a flight eight hours later out of another airport that would get me in the next morning. I’ve often struggled sharing my feeling, but I knew on this occasion what to say without hesitation. I told my mother I loved her and I thanked her for all she did for me. She died an hour later. I heard later on that the doctors said she wouldn’t make it through the night. Today is all you are guaranteed. You’ve got to where you are in life because others helped you get here. Thank them!
1. Believe in yourself and in others
I’ve had my share of ups and downs. I’ve found that to succeed you need to first believe in yourself. You need to understand your motivations. When I was little my parents said I could have anything I wanted as long as I tried my best. I just wish someone stopped me before I believed them. I’ve leveraged the faith I have in myself to achieve my wildest dreams from working at Boeing, to getting on a C-17 test flight, to climbing the highest peak in the lower 48 states, to winning the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. And as many of you know from reading this blog, I’ve experienced finishing the NYC marathon.
However, it’s not just about me. I believe that everyone is inherently a good person. Yes, everyone. I believe it’s pressure and difficult times that cause some to make decisions that make us doubt our faith in them. Have faith in others and I promise you it will offer more in return than all of the previous nine lessons I listed.
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