10 Lessons I’ve Learned @ 30 (Part 2 of 2)

As a continuation from Part 1, here are the five other things I've learned in life.

5. Work to be happy not to survive.

If you know me, then you know I LOVE WHAT I DO! I jump out of bed to start working and I’ve even learned to say no to work on weekends. It’s not easy to find a job you love, but I promise it’s worth the search and every bit of the effort to get to it. I know many of us work to pay the bills, but I promise you its magical when you can find yourself in a role that optimizes both your passions and your strengths.

4. Goals – Have them. Write them down. Make a plan to achieve them.

I live on this foundation. “Harvard Study Goals” –Google it! It’s not about the money (read the previous lesson again), it’s about happiness. Goals and action plans help you achieve it, regardless of how you define it.

3. Failure is human. Just don’t quit.

I have to admit I probably screw up once a week. Once a quarter really bad and once a year I mess up in a way that even I can’t believe. We’re human. I’ve learned two things from all my failures. First, when I screw up I admit it and I don’t hide it. Remember that lesson on empathy? People naturally want to empathize with you on failure. Why? Because they’ve probably screwed up once or twice themselves. The second point is that you need learn from your failures and do better. Japanese Proverb says “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”

2. Be grateful and say thank you.

As most of you know, in the past six years I’ve lost both of my parents. My father’s death was unexpected and my mother’s more sudden than unexpected. They did more for me than I could comprehend while they were both alive. I started to realize this after my father passed. He was pulled out of school in second grade to work and earn money for his family. He came to the US at 18 to make money and help the rest of his family get here from Italy. I appreciated this all too late. In the summer of 07 when I got word that my mother’s passing was inevitable; I booked a ticket and was on the next flight to NY. It happened to be the last flight that would get me to NY that same day and it ended up getting canceled. I got myself on a flight eight hours later out of another airport that would get me in the next morning. I’ve often struggled sharing my feeling, but I knew on this occasion what to say without hesitation. I told my mother I loved her and I thanked her for all she did for me. She died an hour later. I heard later on that the doctors said she wouldn’t make it through the night. Today is all you are guaranteed. You’ve got to where you are in life because others helped you get here. Thank them!

1. Believe in yourself and in others

I’ve had my share of ups and downs. I’ve found that to succeed you need to first believe in yourself. You need to understand your motivations. When I was little my parents said I could have anything I wanted as long as I tried my best. I just wish someone stopped me before I believed them. I’ve leveraged the faith I have in myself to achieve my wildest dreams from working at Boeing, to getting on a C-17 test flight, to climbing the highest peak in the lower 48 states, to winning the Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right. And as many of you know from reading this blog, I’ve experienced finishing the NYC marathon.
However, it’s not just about me. I believe that everyone is inherently a good person. Yes, everyone. I believe it’s pressure and difficult times that cause some to make decisions that make us doubt our faith in them. Have faith in others and I promise you it will offer more in return than all of the previous nine lessons I listed.