Let’s NOT wait until next year

Edgar Renteria of the San Francisco Giants spent months on the bench this season with little playing time. When the Giants made the playoffs, he found that little something extra that he had not tapped into all year. Forget sizzle, this guy finished the season with a bang. In his last at-bat, he hit a homerun that won the World Series and got himself named MVP.

I’ll admit I’m falling short on knocking my 2010 goals out of the ball park. I refuse to let the year end without a sizzle though. Don’t get me wrong, lots of amazing things have happened in my life this year, but there are still 60 days left in 2010 and I do not want to fall victim to the “I’ll just wait until next year” syndrome. Let’s make a plan to get the most out of the last 1400 hours of this year.

How do we do it? Well this will require a different approach, because we’re looking at a sprint vs. a marathon. First, recognize some meaningful things that will allow us to finish the year looking great at work and feeling accomplished at home.

Next, you’ve got to recognize why you are off track. Odds are you have some projects that are way over due and driving you mad. I know how you feel; I’ve got two of them that make me cringe each day. I’m going to focus on them only. In order for me to do this, I’ve conceded some other goals that are too distracting and getting me nowhere fast. If you are behind, then you have no time to spread yourself thin if you expect to turn out results before year end. List out one or two habits that are that are preventing you from getting these projects done and identify a new approach for these last two months.

Finally, you need to make a plan for the last nine weeks. I’m sticking with two projects and looking at the time I can commit to them over the next two weeks. I’m deferring time I could spend on new or “more fun” projects until I get these two completed. I’ve made time at the start of every day to review my three bad habits. This will remind me to not let them happen. Each project has a very basic schedule with small milestones to accomplish each day. I’ve been realistic and I’m even accounting for schedule delays that could occur. I’ve scheduled a one-hour meeting with myself two weeks from today to review my project status. From here I will make any necessary adjustments to help me obtain my goal.

How to Get More (Time) with Less (Part 2 of 2)

Welcome back! For starters, you’ll need your notes from the last two days. My goal here is to help you get more out your day. To do this, I need to know what went south for you the last two days. Keep in mind, it doesn’t matter why you fell short; it just matters that you know the reasons. Look at the list for day one. What stopped you from doing more? Here is my list:

• Kept processing (what seemed like) endless emails
• Urgent issue with a manager needed time to resolve
• Had too much to do for one day
• I forgot
• I’m waiting for someone else
• I was too tired and needed to call it a day

I could probably go one with more excuses, but I’m going to stop with the main culprits. Now look at day two. Pick up any trends? Did you maybe get a little more efficient? I noticed I was paying attention to possible excuses on the second day. On the day two, I was distracted by noise in the office. Instead of being a victim, I decided to hold myself accountable. I immediately grabbed my headphones to help me get back on track. I’ve learned you can never go wrong carrying around extra headphones.

Do you notice any excuse themes between day one and two? At first glance, mine look like endless time spent on email and working unplanned demand. If I dig deeper, then I could say I failed to stick with my game plan. Continuously processing email is not a good thing (more to come in a future post). When you find themes, I want you to come up with a personal action plan to not let them hold you back during the next seven days. This is very important. These themes kept you out of the end zone the last two days, so you have to address them. Get a new piece of paper and track your failure points each of the next seven days. To help you remember to do this, schedule a 15 minute appointment with yourself on your calendar each day. This is not magic; it’s going to require work.

Side note: If you found that you missed capturing your items at the end of the work day because you’re not sure when work ended and personal time began, then there are other issues. I’ve got an entire blog post on that topic.

How to Get More (Time) with Less (Part 1 of 2)

Back when I was a production operations manager for the USAF C-17, I worked for a real spunky manager named Dennis. I enjoyed working for him because he would always call it like it was. He was definitely not into sugar coating anything. One day he described me as a great 99 yard player, but my downfall was my inability to put the closing touches on projects (and thus put the ball in the end zone). I was devastated and basically saw myself as a failure. Thankfully I was able to use his criticism to launch myself in a different direction and become more effective at getting things done.

Many years have passed, with new lessons learned since then and I still obsess on how to be more effective. I want to share some of what has worked for me. You’ve probably heard a lot on multi-tasking, making daily/weekly lists, and planning out all of your goals. If you’ve read this blog before, you’ve heard it directly from this horse’s mouth. Well, today I need you to focus on your short falls. We’re all human, so don’t hold back from being honest with yourself. Let’s find out why you aren’t getting everything crossed off your to do list each day.

Between today and tomorrow, I want you to jot down some notes. This will require you to make a list either on paper or your smart phone. If you put it on your phone, set reminders or else it will be out of sight, out of mind. Here is what I want you to capture:

• When your work day ends make a list of what you didn’t finish today.
• Then list why those items didn’t happen today.
• Tonight before you go to sleep, make a list of what personal items you didn’t finish today.
•Once again, determine why it didn’t happen.
•Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 based on your level of satisfaction with what you accomplished (1 is completely disgusted and 10 is very satisfied).
• Repeat this again tomorrow at the end of the work day and before you go to sleep.

This will only work if you are honest with yourself. The image below is my list from yesterday. In the next post (two days from now), I’m going to show you what to do with your list. Share some of your reasons for not getting things done in the comment section.

Back to Basics

Thirty-two years ago today, I came into this world screaming with all my might. I had a lot to learn and have been doing it one step at a time. I think I was on to something then, so I’m going back to those basics (except the screaming will be a little more controlled this time). Run with Rob has not received the attention I had hoped entering this year, but to be fair to myself I did get engaged, planned a destination wedding, have embraced changes at work, etc. Even though I’m a planner, I had to accept that goals and priorities have a way of surprising you.

I recently received a comment from someone who follows my blog which grabbed my attention, so I’m determined to do more blogging before the year is out. I love to write and help others and figured today was a good day for a re-birth of my blog (pun intended). If you got here because I blocked wall posts, then my strategy worked.

So where do we begin? Let’s just go back to the basics. Why this blog? I think I have a way with words and decided to start sharing that gift with others through various blogs more than four years ago. If you haven’t read the original post to this blog and wonder about the title, it’s simple. As much as I turn to writing to organize my thoughts, I use running to clear my mind. So, this blog combines my strengths and passions in a variety of areas to help those around me. If you dig back through previous posts, you’ll see motivational stories from when life was tough, career advice, and other life lessons.

Here we go! Are you ready? If you have any topics that you’d like to hear about, then post a comment or send me an email (robpapandrea@gmail.com). As for my birthday, I’d like just one present. Look to the right of this blog post and you’ll see “subscribe via email.” If you’re more of a twitter person then follow runwithrob. Go ahead and sign up. I promise I can inspire the uninspired.

Buzz Lightyear crossed with Jimmy Hendrix

If you ask my four year old nephew what he wants to be when he grows up he’ll tell you an Astronaut and a guitar player. So it was fitting that for his pre-school graduation he got Buzz Lightyear wings and a guitar. The interesting thing is those wings say not meant for flying and doesn’t quite know how to play a cord. Maybe that’s the great thing about being a kid, their audacity to dream big. Unfortunately as we grow older reality tells us just how crazy some of our dreams have been. If we’re lucky, like I was, then we’ll have parents telling us we can have or do anything we want in our lives. Nobody has proven my parents wrong yet.

I speak a lot about finding your sweet spot and today I want to help you determine your own. My worry is those of us who have what I like to call American Idol Syndrome (AIS). You love to do something with all your heart, but at the end of the day you suck at it – like most on American Idol it may be singing. AIS, as I’ll refer to it, is typically based on poor self awareness. However, it may also be based on lack of self control. It is easy to get caught up with the concept of doing something we love, or what sounds like something great, when the fact is we’re not very good or qualified for it. Singing is a great example, but in all the career advice I’ve given I see it in a variety of other areas as well.
Your sweet spot is where your abilities are at their best and your passions are flowing to the max. I see people who are put in roles they are great at, but the tasks don’t excite them at all. I experienced this when I was a corporate recruiter. Don’t get me wrong parts of the job had me very passionate, but the basics of recruiting didn’t do it for me. Sound surprising? Even the fun tasks may not be things that excite us.

So how do we find our sweet spot? A little exercise, help from our friends and being honest with ourselves. Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. On the left list out at least 20 things you are truly good if not great at doing. These should be things people complement you on all the time, items noted in your performance review. These could be the classes you excelled in with relative ease. On the right hand side list out the things you love to do (at least 20 items again). These are the things you find yourself doing naturally. Items that you volunteer to do or can’t believe how time flies by when you’re doing them. Now find the overlap. The hard part for some is finding employment in the overlap zone. It takes work, but as I’ll talk about in future blog posts it will be worth it. You may also want to get feedback from your peers, friends, and colleagues on what you put on the left side and ask them if you have any blind spots – things listed that you are not so strong at doing. Again it goes back to being honest and accurate otherwise this activity gets you nowhere fast.

Be prepared, this exercise could tell you that you’re not working in your sweet spot.

The Upgrade Delimma

As you may have seen, this past weekend I got engaged. Many asked me if I was nervous and the answer was a simple “not at all.” Sure I got anxious as it got closer, but only because I couldn’t wait. The one interesting thing that surprised me most about this relationship was how early on I knew Kim could be “the one.” We’ve only known each other for 13 months. Sure, other engagements may be more drastic, but we were discussing marriage after only eight months of dating. We both knew what we wanted in a partner and we knew we found it in each other. Both of us being planners definitely fueled the speed of our relationship.

Over the past month, while I was sorting out the proposal details, I received a lot of questions about career decisions. One common theme evolved: How can I accept an offer if something better out there exists? This reminded me of the “How I Met Your Mother” episode (“Rabbit or Duck”) where Barney leaves one girl after another because he thinks each one is better than the last.

I tie all of these topics together to make one point: Know what you want. In a job or career you need to find a sweet spot – that role where you rely on both your greatest abilities and the things you enjoy the most. Yes you can have both and you should. The same is true in a relationship. You’ve got to know what you’re looking for in a partner. In both a career and a relationship you should be coupled with something that fills in for your weaknesses. To sum up what Jerry McGuire said, you need someone who completes you.

Now if you follow those guidelines, you shouldn’t have to worry about upgrading to a better partner or job. We’re obsessed with comparing our options, whether it be a website that lets us click three products to compare or a friend asking where we want to go to dinner. Most of our decisions in life are made after doing a comparison. The sad news is this ruins us for the big decisions. It keeps us from committing to the right partner or makes us decline a great job offer. Your ability to analyze a standalone opportunity is going to keep you moving forward in life. Don’t ever think of it as settling. Consider lining up your offer with what you want. If you determine what you want in a non-bias state (e.g. before the offer or decision point comes along) and it allows you to operate in your sweet spot, then I promise you’ll be able to make the right decision.

How to prepare for your next job change now!

As I approach my 10 year anniversary with The Boeing Company, I have been reflecting back and looking at the various job and career changes I've made. Every job change I’ve made (I’m on job number ten) and each project I’ve worked on has been thanks to someone in my past speaking up to help me get the opportunity. If you ever wondered why some people get the ‘cool’ opportunities, it should be no surprise when I tell you it’s because they are fresh in someone’s minds when people are being identified for the project. The challenge is to not just be on their mind, but to be on the person’s positive side.

Yes, contact management takes lots of work. If you really think your career will blossom with you coming into work late and leaving early, then you should probably stay in bed so you can keep dreaming. I’ve been in my current job for almost two years. It’s the second longest time I’ve remained in anyone department. I started looking for my next job before I even accepted this position.

This blog post comes with some homework.

Assignment #1: Identify a list of at least 10 people that have helped you since you came to work at current job. Write each of them a personally addressed email and thank them for what they have done for you. Be specific. Tell them exactly what they did that you appreciate. If you have the time, pick up the phone and call them or visit their office instead. I recommend talking with them in person if they are at your work site. Extra points for driving to other sites. This list could include people outside your company including family, friends and advisors.

Assignment #2: Identify three potential positions or projects that you would like to transition to or work on after your current position/project. Then identify the people who will help staff or fill them that and create the opportunities for them to get to know you. If you can’t think of any, then look at all those people in assignment #1. See how many of them can help. However, don’t ruin a great thank you by asking for something in return.

You are not entitled to anything in this world, you need to earn it. If your parents gave you all you needed, then you are truly blessed. However, there is no guarantee that will continue. In order to obtain all that you want, remember people like people with positive attitudes and who are thankful for the help they get. Finally remember that the only competitive advantage you really have is your reputation. I ask you this, how hard did you work this week to make sure your reputation is one you would be proud of?

Two very important life lessons you can learn from Van Wilder

“I do it for the joy it brings 'Cause I'm a joyful girl. Because the world owes me nothing. We owe each other the world.” -Ani Difranco

Last week I was teasing a friend about how he had never seen Van Wilder. I told him it was a classic, more than just another “animal house” movie. If you’ve seen the movie, ask yourself if you realized the important life lessons the movie teaches us. Ok, now take your mind out of the gutter. I’m serious, two great lessons that Van Wilder advises on.

Lesson #1: Enjoy Life

Van has two great quotes on this topic. First he advises: “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” If you know me very well, then you know I’m an intense person. Don’t confuse my intensity with my ability to enjoy life. I watch so many that take life so seriously I can actually see years of their life fading away. Those same individuals are often the ones I see worrying too much. The one who gets the phone call that there is a problem with a project and their reaction is one as if Armageddon was coming tomorrow. For those who worry too much I offer Van’s second quote on enjoying life: “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but get you nowhere.”

Lesson #2: Help Others

If you haven’t figured it out, we were not put on this earth for self reward. Life is hard and sometimes cruel. We are here to help others. Van does two things through out the movie that show it’s not about what we get out of life, but what we do for others with our lives. Van point blank says “life is about building relationships.” I struggled my way through an Engineering degree, have a GPA that is more likely to qualify me for academic probation than Cum Lade and consider myself very week in the technical arena. However, I will tell you that if you put me into a technical environment on a project that is behind schedule and in complete chaos that I stand a better chance to improve the situation than a 4.0 student* who can barely carry on a conversation with a wall. Think about any project you’ve ever worked on. Has there ever been a situation where you didn’t know where to find the answer? The majority of the time the obstacle on most projects is not finding the answer, but rather implementing or getting to the answer. You know…that one person who has to approve your proposal, but doesn’t agree with it.

The other way Van seeks to help others is to “inspire the uninspired.” This can probably be one of the biggest game changers you’ll ever be able to use. It’s contagious. Think about all the times when you are dealing with a negative co-worker who has been fed up with failures on a project or task. You come along, point out the silver lining and offer some words of motivation. If you succeed then that person goes to lunch with his or her friends in a more upbeat way. Think about when it’s happened to you. If you are upset or let down, you spread the virus. If you can infect one person in a positive way, that’s one less person complaining at happy hour.

I challenge you this week to enjoy life and help others. Whether you have been with your company 24 years or 24 hours, I’m sure you can make a difference for someone.

*It is in no way the intent of the author of this blog to mock any student, but rather to acknowledge grades do not guarantee success.

It’s easy being average

Last month Kim and I traveled to Florida to take in one of the three remaining shuttle launches. The trip almost got extended by a day when we got to the airport minutes before our return flight was set to depart. We’ll skip the part where I thought our flight left 30 minutes later than it actually did to the part of the story worth sharing. We checked in online but failed to print our boarding passes. The kiosk at the airport could not find our reservation, so we went to the service counter (still oblivious to our real departure time). As we approached the next open agent, we hear the announcement. You know…the announcement you never want to hear from outside security, “this will serve as our final boarding call for JetBlue flight 259 to Long Beach. All passengers should be at the boarding gate immediately.”

At this point it would have been extremely easy, and quite honestly expected, for the agent to apologize and let us know we were going to miss our flight. However, that didn’t happen. In super-star fashion, she notified the gate of our late arrival and then proceeded to whisk us off to security. We quickly became “those people” as we bypassed the line and chased our agent through the terminal and to our gate.

As I sit here at 32,000 feet typing, I cannot help to think how easy it would have been for her to have just been average and not done anything for us. I’m pretty sure her job description doesn’t say, “sprint through security and down the hall so that passengers who screw up their departure time can make their flight.” I’m not saying other agents wouldn’t make the effort, but let’s be real, she stepped it up when we needed help the most. This is what it takes to be great.

The same is true of our space program. When JFK made his famed speech at Rice University he didn’t say, “let’s get to space.” He said, “let’s get to the moon” and took the bold step of telling us to move swiftly in doing it. That’s the beauty of being great – your legacy can become enduring.

If we want to be outstanding leaders, we must realize that being average won’t cut it. We must challenge ourselves. When setting out on our mission, whether it be in customer service, leading a group, parenting a child, etc., we must focus on what being extraordinary can produce. Do you have an example where you avoided being average and in turn produced a great result?

Entitlement – The Right to be Happy

Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.

Yes, you are entitled to be happy at home and at work. Unfortunately, the framers of our constitution didn’t tell us that the pursuit of happiness won't be easy. Bad things will happen along the way and I hope me sharing my stories help you understand that you're not alone and how you too can overcome those events. There will also be times you’ll be hit with the unexpected. The unexpected won't always be bad things, just things you didn’t plan for. Through it all, you're entitled to be happy. If you aren't then I hope I can at least try to get you moving in that direction, but you need to decide where you're going.

Last month I got to watch my grandmother celebrate her 90th birthday. She was born the day Babe Ruth got sold to the NY Yankees (sorry Boston fans). In her lifetime the world changed more than I'm sure she ever could have imagined. She lived through the great depression, two world wars, and got to watch her immediate family (kids, grandkids, great grandkids) grow to over 50 of us. If you saw her, you’d never have to ask if she was happy because you could see it on her face. She didn’t speak the best English, but if I learned anything from her, it was you better start living happy if you want to keep living. As amazingly simple as it was, she had focus and she knew what made her happy.

You must focus on what really makes you happy. Figure out your destination. Don’t give the answers other people want, instead focus on the lowest common denominator of all the things you enjoy. I'm willing to bet you’ll find something there.

What are you doing when there's a smile on your face?

What is it that makes you sit up in the chair and lean in with attentiveness?

What is it that you could do day after day and never notice the time on the clock?

If you told me ten years ago, when I was on the verge of graduating college with an Aerospace Engineering degree, that my job title would be a HR Generalist, I would have laughed at you. However, if you told me that I would be doing something I was passionate about and enjoying my work, then I’d say that sounds more like it. My answers to the above questions have changed slightly over the last decade. I've definitely become more dialed in on what really makes me happy. The most amazing part is that I've learned you can be happy and get paid for it. As I said before, it will not be easy, but if you want the advice that follows to be helpful, then start with being honest with yourself. No limitations. Do you know where you're going?

I Want it All and I Want it Now!

“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off.” ~Author Unknown

As promised last week, I’m following up on your requested dialogue regarding career moves. I’ve been in the workforce full-time for almost a decade now. Of course it scares me a little, but when I sit and reflect I’ve learned some key tactics on changing jobs and careers. I’ve spent the entire time with one company, spanned three careers (Engineering, Management and HR), and ten different positions. If you dig into each position, my work scope changed even more times.

I’ve had highs and lows during the span. There were exciting moments that included two test flights in one day and others that included hiring 30+ in 24 hours just to name a few. Unfortunately, there were other moments involving frustration, disgust and disappointment. I could not have scripted the experiences I’ve had, though I am a believer that chance favors the prepared mind.

Over the next few posts, I’m going to share my approach to developing a plan and executing on it. While others have flown by the seat of their pants and have been successful, I like to be in control and my recommendations are based on what I can tolerate. As you follow along, you’re going to need patience with the process. I realize that many of us have had our patience tested for a while now and I find it healthy to discuss.

What’s frustrating you the most about the job change you’d like to make? How long has your patience been tested?

The Good that Comes from the Bad

Eight years ago tonight, I got the worst imaginable call someone could receive. It was one of those calls that no one could ever prepare for. On January 29, 2002, my family’s world was forever changed when my father was struck and killed by a hit-and-run driver. As my brother says, it still feels like a really bad dream.

I could go on endlessly about the tragedy of that event, but I’d rather focus on the positive again today. My family turned our heartbreak into something positive. At the time of my father’s accident, NY state law allowed for a maximum prison sentence of up to two years for drivers who injured or killed innocent victims (yes, he was caught). My brother Chris partnered with state political leaders and in less than three years, the NY driving laws were changed and dangerous drivers can now be sentenced up to seven years in prison verses the measly six months my father’s murderer served. It was not easy, but it was an effort worth pursuing even though it would be other families who would benefit more than us. The story even gained national news on “Good Morning America.”

It seems like events of such tragedy or shock get people to react in more responsive ways. This is our flaw – we’re always waiting for some sign. Oprah said it best when she said, “right now you are one choice away from a new beginning – one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you can be.”

Stop waiting for some bad event to jolt you towards a bold decision. The picture above is my license plate (Joe P was my Dad’s nickname) and a reminder every time I get in the car I don’t need a reason to be bold. Right now there is something you are holding back on and I want to help you act on it.

In the two question survey from my previous blog, you unanimously asked for help with making a career move. I encourage you to sign up for email notifications on this blog (see the box on the right hand side), because it’s going to get interesting. Beginning next week, I’m going to share with you my secrets for career change and advancement (including how to get a job if you don’t have one). On Valentine’s Day I’m going to launch a series of posts called “From Love to Luck: How Simple it is to Get the Most Out of Life.” The series will be four weeks (ending on St. Patrick’s Day) of simple steps that will help you organize your life and pursue some of the craziest goals that you feel you just never have time to achieve.

Just go, do it, live life!

How can I help you?

In follow up to last week's post with the missing link, please answer this two question survey so I can better help you with future blog posts.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/M7GVNNX

We Need More Pancakes!

It could have been growing up around the service industry with my father working as a pizza man and my mother working as a waitress, but I am fascinated by good customer service. At the same time, I get perplexed by poor service. Today, I’d rather talk about the positive.

Last September, my brother and I were making our way across Texas, traveling between Austin and Dallas to take in a college and pro football game. On this one Sunday morning we stopped in some small town to eat at a Denny’s, and as could be expected the place was packed. We snagged a seat at the counter instead of waiting for a table.

The beauty of sitting at the counter is that you are right in front of the kitchen and you get to see where all the action happens. I couldn’t help but notice how all the servers were irate that there were not enough pancakes coming out of the kitchen. It only took a few minutes before the manager came over. This was the same person who just moments ago was helping at the cash register and collecting a wait list as customers arrived. He asked what was wrong and you best believe his employees let him know. Without hesitation, he disappeared into the kitchen to pitch in. Two minutes later there were more pancakes flowing out of the kitchen than I could describe.

We all work in different capacities, but we all have a customer. Even those who are stay at home parents and take care of their children. When the pressure is on, are you likely to make pancakes or stay at the register?

Don’t be a Fool, Ask for Help

Wrapping up my series on lessons learned in 2009, I want to return to one life lesson that never gets old: Not being afraid to ask for help. I had to learn a lot to do my job well last year. That had not been the case for me in the many years previous to 2009. I spent the year leaning on various people in my network to help me understand how to do my job better. I’ve learned that having that audacity to ask can bring you a long way.

I have countless examples to prove the necessity of this lesson, like the help I got from so many on obtaining speaking opportunities and as a result I delivered over 20 workshops last year. I believe many of us know this to be true, but for some reason we fail to exercise ourselves to the point of actually asking for the help we need. I thought we’d spend time showing some tricks on how to gain the audacity to ask for help. Here are three tips that help me to be brave enough to ask for help.

1. Forget repayment. I find what stops many of us in our tracks before we get started is the belief that we have nothing to offer the other person in return, so why would they want to help us? Or we think we’ll owe them something and be stuck indebted to them. How wrong we are. Don’t worry about repaying the favor. Humans want to help. It’s inherent in our nature. If there is no way for you to get over this, think about repaying the debt to someone else. Consider there to be a community fund. Exceptions include “those” people who remind us of the favors they did for us when they need something. They are the exception and not the rule of society. Don’t surround yourself with too many of them.

2. Have a plan. I have one expectation when I do a favor for someone: Let me know how this is helping your bigger plan. If you can show the person you’re asking how their contribution might help move mountains, then you’ll get them to invest in you. Exceptions include asking me to meet person "X" because it would be cool or you have a celebrity/executive itch to feed.

3. Empathy and small talk. If you can get people to relate to what it is your doing, by sharing a common interest, then you will help them empathize with you. I find empathy to be one of the greatest human elements. Unfortunately, I see a lot of missed opportunities to truly connect with people. Along these same lines, you need to converse with the person outside of what you need. Waste a little time with them. Yes, this sounds like it goes against every rule of productivity I teach, but you should also chit chat with people when you don't need something. Exceptions include lying so that you gain pity from others and faking interests in what someone else is doing.

Always remember to show appreciation. Remember, everyone likes to be recognized differently. If the help received was for work purposes, I like to mention everyone who helped me instead of taking all the credit for the job. I find this way more humbling and is a great reminder that we didn’t get where we are alone.

Finally, I need your help. In my longing desire to keep my writings current, I want to hear from you. What help do you need in 2010? I cannot promise to have a solution to everything, but I can promise to make it worth your while to keep reading this blog. Take a minute to complete these two survey questions. The results will drive future blog content.

Write it Down, I Mean it…Go Do it Now!

Continuing with my lessons learned from 2009. I celebrated my 31st birthday in October of last year, but I didn’t need that to remind me I was getting older. If you only read every other post on this blog, you’ll know I firmly believe in writing down your goals with action plans. Last year I learned it’s not just the goals that should be written down. Your mind is not a collecting point, so make lists in writing. Many of us now have Blackberries or other smart phones that all give us the ability to capture what we’re thinking. So I say, write it down. Whether it be an idea you have or something to discuss with a significant other when you get home, take the time when you have the thought to write it down. We’ll talk about organizing those collections at a later time.

I could give you countless examples of where this saved me in 2009, but why not share my low moments instead. After all, self deprecating humor is something I master. I left the tent for a camping trip behind, though three of us had a great time sleeping in the back of my Ford Explorer under the stars in Death Valley. An even better example is when I went to Target in search of only two things. I was running a few errands and Target fit perfectly between two other stops. I popped in, grabbed item one and then I was lost. I couldn’t remember it. I needed only two things and I could not remember one. I sat in the store trying every memory trick in the book to recall what I forgot. Imagine someone standing there in the store staring off into space waiting for that stroke of genius. Well that was me except there was no moment of genius. It took me 20 minutes and yes, my stubborn nature refused to leave the store until I remembered the other item. It works phenomenal with goals, but it’s ideal for anything you’ll ever need to remember again. With paper out and smart phones in your hand, you have no excuse not to write it down. Next time someone asks what your goals are, don’t bother thinking about it, pull up the list you’ve written down.

Before you read this post, did you have the next thing you needed to do written down?

Forget the Weak Spots, Find the Sweet Spots

Anyone who knows me well knows I don’t read many books cover to cover. Instead I listen to a lot of them via my iPod or CDs. Last year, I read just two books in their entirety and looking back over a decade I can say with no shame the number could be counted on two hands. Meanwhile I’ve probably listened to something like 100 books in that same time period. I do read bits and pieces of some books, but it just doesn’t work for me to sit and read from beginning to end. It’s not my style and something I’ve never tried to change.

Coincidentally those two books I did read last year taught me this lesson: make the best of your strengths, instead of focusing on your weaknesses. The key here is ensuring you neutralize weakness and that it doe not knock you out of the game. I can see a lot of people’s faces reading this right now thinking “Rob, do you hear what you’re saying?” Yes, I do. Let me give you another example of why this concept works.

In 2008 I ran two marathons. Craziest thing a human can ever do. When I crossed the finish line in NY with tears in my eyes, my legs fed a message to me of “do this again and we won’t let you ski on us.” In the training for both those races I found out something important. I do really well committing to a training program if I have a specific goal and running gets me to a place where I can focus. I also learned I hate running marathons.

I applied this to my 2009 running goals. I ran about a half dozen races last year and two were with a time goal in mind. Up first was the Camp Pendleton Mud Run which I finished in an hour flat, cutting 8 minutes off my previous personal best and a finish in the top 5%. The other race was the Seattle Rock ‘N’ Roll half marathon where my goal for the race was simple: sub 8 minute miles for 13.2 miles. In achieving that goal I got something more. I found that sweet spot where I zoned out the last two miles for the first time in a year and a half. Imagine your body enduring a full gauntlet of painful activity, but instead to feel completely relaxed without an ounce of pain.

I know finishing one marathon, let alone two is a great accomplishment and something I should make me proud. It does and it gave me some great things to blog about. However, it just was not fun for me. I could also try to read more books, but I don’t like that either.

When you look at your development plan or how you spend your time at work are you focused on your strengths or are you consumed by your flaws? Do you find yourself wrapped up with things you’ve failed doing in the past or leveraging successful moments that remind you of what you do best?

The First Step is Admitting It

All change begins with setting priorities

As 2009 ended I prepared to send out my year end email. However, I realized I needed to focus more on sharing than bragging. As 2010 gets going I have a lot to be happy about from what I accomplished last year. I want to kick off my blog this year with the lessons I learned from last year.

Previous to last year I spent my time consumed by work. I had saw three straight relationship end at a point where they were ready to go to the next level, but needed work and commitment to grow. Instead of investing in the relationship, I redirected resources to work. It’s easy to look back now and see what was wrong, but I couldn’t see it then. I was consumed with work. I was so absorbed by it that I couldn’t even put myself as a top priority let along a significant other.

As I entered 2009 I did something I had not done in the previous years. I determined my personal goals with action plans for them and made them my focus. I started with what I needed for me. I needed time to refresh, so I listed 10 days of skiing (I got 23). I needed time to release energy, so I ran races, two in personal best times. I needed to plan more for the future and so I committed to saving more money are researching business school programs. Every personal goal got crossed of at year end, a first for me.

This is easier said than done. I had failed at prioritizing in the past. This time before I would put anything on the calendar for work, I would put my needs on first and let work fit in around it. Amazing concept, huh? In the nine plus years I’ve been working since graduating college, I never took a full week vacation. I made some attempts, took a lot of long weekends, but failed to truly step away from work. Last year I did it twice, once planned out six months in advance to see Oktoberfest in Munich and another way more spontaneously with less than 3 weeks notice to explore Alaska.

The best part about prioritizing was that I was able to spend time searching for someone to love. In typical “Rob form”, I created a process (more on that in a future blog post), and I explored eHarmony. I found an amazing woman and found the true reward of making a commitment to my goals.

I've been asked many times over the past decade to list my priorities and I can honestly say I spent a lot of time lying to myself. When you look at your calendar from week to week; does it reflect your top priorities? If you fail to plan for it, then you fail to make it a priority.